The Pain of Love
by Kjirstyn
Summary: Ginny and Harry are perfectly happy together and then disaster strikes- Harry has cancer. Set mostly in 6th and 7th year. Written for my friend- who got a bad scare in the cancer department.


Disclaimer: This story has direct parallels to Nicholas Sparks' "A Walk To Remember." All things found in similarity to that are his, and I only borrowed them to write this story.  
  
A/N: Thanks to Anjali and Anne for checking this over. To all my readers at FF.net- I'm SO sorry if this uploads all crammed together, etc. I can't figure out how to keep the paragraphs separated like they're supposed to be. I've tried a zillion different ways and they still end up crammed together. If you want a better version, there should be one up at FictionAlley.org-under Astronomy Tower, my name is still Kjirstyn.  
  
Another A/N: This story is dedicated to a very close friend of mine who just found out that he may have cancer, and, needless to say, I'm scared to death for him. So-to him; my favorite guy in the world. I love you Danny- this is for you.  
  
THE PAIN OF LOVE  
  
"Wait up, Ginny," Harry said, catching his breath and panting lightly as he paused mid-ascent on the stairwell.  
  
"What's wrong, Harry?" Ginny asked, surprised. "You never get tired on the stairs."  
  
"I don't know," Harry said, shaking his head. "I'm just worn out, I guess. I'm too busy."  
  
Truer words were never spoken, Ginny thought silently to herself. Harry had run himself ragged throughout his whole sixth year, being a prefect, Quidditch captain, Seeker, studying for the upcoming NEWTs and all the schoolwork in general he was doing. Fortunately he doesn't have Voldemort to deal with anymore, she thought thankfully. Voldemort had finally been defeated towards the end of the previous year, relieving a lot of stress on the wizarding world, and Harry in particular.  
  
"You okay now?" she asked curiously, holding out her hand to him. He grasped it tightly and stood up, interlacing his fingers with his girlfriend's as he started walking again. He and Ginny had been going out since around March of his fifth year, and he couldn't remember ever being so happy.  
  
"I'm fine," he reassured her, squeezing her hand. She smiled at him, watching happily as his eyes shone at her in response and the smile he saved for her spread across his face.  
  
"I love you Gin," he said, leaning down and kissing her quickly on the lips as they walked along.  
  
"Love you too," she said, returning the kiss on his temple, as they walked down the corridor hand in hand.  
  
*^*  
  
"Harry?" Ginny said pleadingly, looking down at him where he sat on the sofa, reading a book about- what else?- Quidditch. He looked up at the sound of her voice.  
  
"Hey," he said, glad to see her. "What?"  
  
"I need help," she said, holding out her Muggle studies book. "Please?" she said, her lower lip trembling appealingly. Harry laughed and patted the couch. Ginny smiled and settled herself comfortably between his legs, leaning back against his chest.  
  
"Here," she said, pointing to a page on Muggle electronics. "What is a- a compact disc?"  
  
"It's a round disc, about four and a half inches in diameter," Harry said, gesturing with his hands the approximate size. "Muggles record all sorts of-"  
  
"Harry, what is that?" Ginny interrupted, seizing his hand and holding it closer to her face. A mottled purple bruise covered a good portion of the back of his hand, which had heretofore been covered by his long sleeves.  
  
"Harry, what-" she started to say, then stopped. She pulled up his robe sleeve and stared in horror at the assortment of bruises she found there.  
  
"Harry, what happened?" Ginny asked desperately.  
  
"Shh!" Harry shushed her. "I don't know. They're just bruises. I don't even know where I got them. It's nothing to worry about, really. Let's get back to your homework, okay?"  
  
"Okay." Ginny said hesitantly, still thinking of the covered bruises. She didn't know why, but she was frightened.  
  
*^*  
  
"Ron," Harry said, watching his best friend beat Dean royally at chess.  
  
"Yeah?" Ron said distractedly, trying to decide what to do next.  
  
"This is serious, Ron, look at me," Harry said firmly. That got Ron's attention.  
  
"What is it?" he asked, looking worried. "What's happening?"  
  
"It's not bad, exactly," Harry tried to explain. "Just- I need you to captain the team."  
  
"What?" Ron said incredulously. "Are you barking? I'm not going to take an honor like that from you."  
  
"You're not taking it, I'm giving it," Harry said, brooking no argument. "Please, Ron. I just can't do it anymore. I'm not up to it and- everything else." Ron opened his mouth to argue again, and then closed it, defeated.  
  
"Right," he said resignedly. "I'll take the spot. I hope you know what you're doing."  
  
"Trust me," Harry returned, walking back over to his spot by Ginny in front of the fire.  
  
"I heard that," she said accusatorily. "What are you thinking? You better not have done that just to share you glory with Ron. He won't deal with it too well if you did."  
  
Harry shook his head wearily. "I didn't do it just to share the glory. I really can't take it, Ginny. I just don't have the energy anymore. All I want is to sit and do nothing, put out no energy."  
  
Ginny looked at him. He was looking a bit peaked. "Well," she said, nodding. "Maybe you're right. Maybe this is all you need to get back on track; just a break from something for awhile."  
  
"Yeah," Harry agreed, sighing, and going back to his book.  
  
*^*  
  
"Harry?" Ginny said softly. He didn't wake up. "Harry," she said, a little louder, touching his shoulder. Still he didn't respond, except for his shallow breathing. Ginny stepped back and looked at him. He looked- thinner, and his pallor didn't look all that healthy either, come to think of it. She shook him.  
  
"Harry!" she said forcefully. "Harry, wake up, you've got to." Harry started, sitting up halfway and prying his eyes open.  
  
"Wha-? What is it Gin? What's wrong?"  
  
"You tell me, Harry James Potter," she said, her anxiety making her sound angry.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Something's wrong with you, Harry. I don't know what it is. I don't even know if you know what it is. But you've got to find out, Harry. You aren't-right. You sleep more hours than you're awake."  
  
"I know," Harry said, yawning. "I just need to catch up on my sleep, Ginny. It's nothing, really."  
  
"It's something, Harry," Ginny said, not budging. "You go to Madam Pomfrey or I'll bring her to you."  
  
Harry looked at her. He could tell by the look in her eye that she wouldn't stand for any arguments. "All right," he agreed. "I'll go. Tomorrow morning, I promise." He pulled her down beside him, draping his arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Did I ever tell you that I love you very much?" he asked, kissing her on her nose.  
  
"Yes," she said, giggling. "Last night. But it bears repeating."  
  
"I love you very much," he said with a straight face.  
  
She laughed. "Good thing," she told him. "Because I don't know what I'd do if you didn't."  
  
He smiled into her lips as he kissed her. "Gin," he said seriously.  
  
She looked up at him. "Yeah?" she asked curiously.  
  
"You really love me?" he asked, like a little child needing reminded of his parents' love.  
  
"Of course, silly," she said, swatting at him. She looked into his eyes and found no teasing there, only a deep want to know her answer. "Really," she assured him. "I love you with all my heart, Harry." She paused, looking at him. "Why?" she asked, suddenly inexplicably nervous.  
  
"I don't know." Harry said uncertainly. He did know, though. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he felt something was, and deep down he was worried. "Would you spend the rest of your life with me, Ginny?"  
  
Her eyebrows shot up. Whatever she'd been expecting, this wasn't it. "Are you proposing?" she asked, shocked.  
  
Harry shook his head. "No, I didn't mean it to sound like that. Just- really, if you had to choose, would you spend the rest of your life with me?"  
  
"Yes," the answer came with such swiftness that he couldn't question it. "I would stay with you forever, Harry. 'For better or for worse, till death do us part,'" she said, quoting her favorite part of the marriage vows she knew.  
  
Harry smiled gently. "It sounds like we're getting married," he said softly. Ginny smiled up at him but said nothing, comfortable in his arms and content to let him talk.  
  
"Do you think we'll get married someday?" he asked suddenly, shocking her again.  
  
"Harry- what's making you ask all of these things?"  
  
"I don't know Gin. I just feel like I have to or something. Like I'm running out of time."  
  
"Don't talk like that," Ginny admonished him. "You have a long life ahead of you and I'm going to spend it with you if that's what you want."  
  
"It's what I want," Harry said absently. "Of course, that's what I want."  
  
*^*  
  
"Madam Pomfrey," Harry said as he walked into the infirmary the next morning, "I need you to- look me over. My girlfriend told me I had to come here; she was really worried, and I don't really know what to think."  
  
"I thought I'd seen the last of you when You-Know-Who was brought down," Madam Pomfrey grumbled, scurrying over to the bed where Harry sat. "What's wrong?" she asked, all nurse again.  
  
"I really don't know," Harry confessed. "I've got bruises everywhere and I don't know how they got there. I'm always, always tired. And I get worn out really easily. Insanely easily," he added. Madam Pomfrey sucked in her breath. When she spoke, her voice was shaky, but it smoothed out almost instantly.  
  
"Um, why don't I check you over, Mr. Potter- we'll see what's going on with you."  
  
"Er- right," Harry agreed, somewhat nervous from the tone of her voice.  
  
"Now don't you worry," she said, pulling out her wand. "I'm just going to do some tests on you. We should know within a couple days what this is exactly. Usually I could fix it in a few minutes, but from your description, I think this will take a little longer."  
  
*^*  
  
"I should be fine, Ginny," Harry reassured his girlfriend. "Madam Pomfrey said not to worry, and she'd know what was up in just a couple days. It's nothing serious."  
  
"Thanks goodness for that," Ginny answered, breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
*^*  
  
"It's bad, Headmaster," Madam Pomfrey said, wringing her hands. "I've never come across this form before. I knew from his description what it was, but I didn't know what form- and I still don't. I've done the tests, and I've done the research- neither Muggle nor wizard doctors can cure this."  
  
Dumbledore sighed, looking older than his already numerous years. "You might as well tell him, Poppy."  
  
*^*  
  
"Ginny," Harry said. He was older, more reserved. He wasn't Harry. Ginny felt fear rearing its ugly head deep in her stomach.  
  
"Harry," she said neutrally, knowing instinctively she didn't want to hear what he had to say.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey told me what it was," he managed to get out, sinking down beside her.  
  
"And?"  
  
"It's bad, Ginny."  
  
"Oh God." Ginny buried her face in Harry's shoulder. "What is it?" he heard her muffled voice say.  
  
"Cancer," he managed to get out. He felt a stray tear touch his neck. "Ginny," he said pulling her up. "It's okay, don't cry. It doesn't change us at all."  
  
"Cancer, Harry," she whispered, tears threatening to cascade down her face. "Cancer. How could this happen?"  
  
"It's something anyone, Muggle or wizard, is susceptible to. It couldn't be helped, Ginny."  
  
"Can it be helped now?" she asked, seeing in his eyes the answer.  
  
"No." The answer was short and terse.  
  
"Oh, Harry." That was all she could say. They sat there for a few minutes, saying nothing.  
  
"Harry," she said. "How long?" She could feel Harry stiffen beside her.  
  
"Not long," he admitted after a pause. "Two years at most. But it's more than a lot of people get."  
  
"Two years," Ginny said in shock. Two more years for her to be with the person she loved most in the world. Two years. It might as well have been two hours. This was the boy she was going to spend the rest of her life with- except now it looked as though he'd be the boy she'd be spending the rest of his life with.  
  
"Ginny," he said, stroking her hair.  
  
"How can you be so calm?" she said, looking up at him.  
  
"I'm dying, Ginny. There's nothing I can do about it." She looked up at him, tears gone. She had a feeling they wouldn't be back for a long while. Her grief was too much for that.  
  
"Ginny," he said again, lifting her chin with his finger.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Tell me something."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"That night I asked you- if you really loved me, if you'd spend the rest of your life with me."  
  
She was silent.  
  
"I meant what I said. It's what I want."  
  
She looked up at him. Was he saying--?  
  
"Ginny- I love you. You're the only one I want, and our time is short. I know it's absolutely crazy, you being only fifteen and all, but you're nearly sixteen, I'm nearly seventeen. And we really love each other."  
  
"Are you-" she couldn't finish the sentence.  
  
"I want to marry you, Ginny," he confirmed.  
  
"Marry- me?"  
  
"You. Only you. 'For better or for worse, till death do us part,'" he quoted softly.  
  
"'Till death do us part,'" she repeated quietly. "Death."  
  
"Please, Ginny?" he asked, his voice hoarse.  
  
"Married- to you- till death do us part," she said, still seeming to sort it out in her mind. "Yes." She said firmly. "Till death do us part. I'll be by your side, as your wife, as Mrs. Harry Potter." She kissed him firmly. "Promise me we'll never let this problem take away from our happiness," she demanded.  
  
"We'll do our best," he agreed, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her back.  
  
*^*  
  
"Hermione, I'm scared to death. I can't do this," Ginny said shakily to her best friend.  
  
"Of course you can," the other girl said briskly. "You have to, and you know it. You love him too much not to." Despite the sadness that had been spread when Harry's condition was uncovered, everybody had agreed to forget about it as much as circumstances would allow, helping the couple to have the happiest wedding possible.  
  
"I love him," Ginny said, as if to reassure herself. "I'm only sixteen, and I'm getting married. I cannot believe this."  
  
"You're in love, dear," her mother said from behind her, where she was adjusting her daughter's veil. "It's okay to be nervous. I know you're young, but after the initial shock- I think what you're doing is right. This is the best way for the two of you to have the happiness you deserve."  
  
The Weasley family had reacted in numerous ways to Harry and Ginny's engagement. Molly, of course, had been shocked, but once she got over that stage, she agreed it was the right thing to do, given the circumstances, and she planned practically the whole wedding for them, despite Ginny's protests of "Mum, I've got it taken care of. Don't worry."  
  
Arthur had been the easiest to persuade, knowing as well as he did how much the two truly loved each other. Percy and been sure that the whole thing was an abomination- of what, he didn't know. Charlie had reluctantly agreed to the idea; Bill had been all for it. The twins, of course, didn't really care what their little sister did, as long as they got to tease her about it, which they did, mercilessly. Ron, whom Harry had been most nervous about telling, had flipped.  
  
"Nobody is marrying my little sister!" he roared, sending the visiting Hedwig flying out the window of the dormitory. "Not you, not anybody! Especially not when she's only sixteen! Sixteen!" he emphasized, jabbing the air with his fist.  
  
"Ron-" Harry had attempted to placate him. Ron would not be appeased.  
  
"You are not marrying my sister!" he yelled, shattering the nearby mirror.  
  
Needless to say, it had taken a lot of careful conversations, persuasion, and explanations to bring the boy around. He still wasn't entirely approving, although his general attitude now seemed to be 'if you can't lick 'em, join 'em.'  
  
"I can do this," Ginny said to herself.  
  
"That's the spirit, dear," the mirror in front of her said. "You look beautiful. Go knock the poor boy off his feet."  
  
Ginny smiled, her first real smile all day. "Right," she said.  
  
She stepped out of the doors onto the red carpet of the church she and Harry had chosen to be married in. She stood for a moment on the arm of her father, gazing out at all the people that had turned up for this momentous occasion. There was all of Gryffindor Tower, nearly the whole staff from Hogwarts, (including a surly Snape) and her entire family, which, when including both sides, was enormous. Between her mother's side that loved large families, and her father's side, which seemed unable to help but have large families- she had family everywhere across the globe, it seemed.  
  
She took a step, and looked up towards the front of the church, where Harry was standing, waiting. He looked pale, but happy. Nothing will mar his wedding day, Ginny vowed fiercely.  
  
As she reached the front of the church, she felt herself waking up, as if from a dream. She saw Harry standing there, more clearly than she had ever seen him, it seemed. She felt her father place her hand with Harry's and felt him step back and into his place by her mother.  
  
It didn't register what the priest was saying until she heard the words 'till death do us part.' She felt rather than saw Harry turn towards her and she turned her head slightly until she could catch his eye and they shared a secret smile.  
  
Before she knew it, she was in his arms, being kissed for the first time as a married woman.  
  
*^*  
  
The next few months were among the happiest Ginny had ever known. Married life, even at her young age, was all she could hope for. Since it was summer, and she and Harry wanted to be alone, they had taken it upon themselves to rent a small cottage in Hogsmeade with Harry's savings.  
  
Until school started again, then, Harry and Ginny were on a permanent honeymoon, blissfully happy with the life they led. Both of them found basic jobs in the busy Hosmeade community and enjoyed themselves immensely, both at work, and then coming home at night to be in each other's arms.  
  
*^*  
  
School coming again in September was a bit of a shock to their routine. Going shopping in Diagon Alley, buying school things again, and being mothered by Mrs. Weasley made them feel as if they were in their second childhood.  
  
Harry's health was not improving; if anything, it was deteriorating, but he still struggled to live as normal a life as possible. Ginny loved him for the courage he was showing and yet ached for him because of what he must be feeling inside, both physically and mentally.  
  
Dumbledore agreed to add a room on to Gryffindor Tower for the three months married couple. They were incredibly grateful for the freedom it allowed them in living together as husband and wife; time to talk without others interfering or overhearing, somewhere to go when they needed to be together, alone.  
  
*^*  
  
As Harry's seventh and Ginny's sixth year drew to a close, Ginny walked into their bedroom, and seeing Harry standing there in front of the mirror, went over to him.  
  
He was looking old, she decided. To her he was just as handsome as ever but yes, he was looking old, no doubt due to the mental and physical taxing on his energy. His time was running out, they both knew, but neither mentioned the inevitable. Instead of the dreary subject that they both hated, Ginny brought up another one.  
  
"I have some news you might be interested in," she said, slipping her arms around Harry's waist and resting her cheek against his back.  
  
"Mm?" Harry said, not sounding like he cared.  
  
"Turn around, Harry darling," she said, with a bit of a tease in her voice. He did as bidden.  
  
"What?" he asked, somewhat more enthused after seeing the happy sparkle in her eyes.  
  
"How would you like to have a family?" Harry looked perplexed.  
  
"I have a family, Ginny. You. The rest of your family. They're my family."  
  
"No, silly," she said, smiling softly. "A real family."  
  
"How much more real-" he stared at her. "Are you saying what I hope you're saying?"  
  
"Depends," she said teasingly.  
  
"Are you serious?" he said, energy returning as if by magic to his weakened form.  
  
"Yes!" she giggled. "You're going to have a real family, Harry. Someone of your own flesh and blood, that loves you and looks up to you and will be able to say to all her friends "My dad was Harry Potter."" She looked up at him, seeing not the tired Harry she was now used to, but a happy Harry, the one she had fallen in love with all those years ago.  
  
"I have the most wonderful wife in the world," he said giddily, picking her up and whirling her around. "Hey," he said, setting her down. "What are you thinking, 'she?' It's going to be a boy if it knows what's good for it!"  
  
*^*  
  
"It's a girl!" Mrs. Weasley announced seven months later, over Christmas Break.  
  
"Here, Harry," Ginny said, placing his new daughter in his arms and watching the smile break over his face like a sunrise over a dark earth. She smiled. "Are you disappointed about it not being a boy?" she asked with a smirk.  
  
"What?" Harry said, transfixed by the sight of his new daughter. "Are you kidding? Who wants a boy anyway? I sure don't!"  
  
Ginny laughed. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said, looking at him meaningfully.  
  
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, looking askance at her mischievous look.  
  
"I am related to twins, aren't I?" she asked him. "It stands to reason that I would end up having some too."  
  
"You had- you had twins?" Harry gulped.  
  
"Yes- so I could make you twice as happy in half the time," Ginny said, serious again, looking deeply into his eyes. He leaned down and kissed her.  
  
"You make me happier than any man alive every day," he said softly, reaching out to touch his new son.  
  
*^*  
  
He was gone. Ginny knew she had been lucky to have as long as she had with him, but she still couldn't shake the feeling that her own life had ended with his. She was only eighteen. Only eighteen, and a widow. And he- he had been only nineteen. Why were the good ones taken so early? She knew this day would come, but she still couldn't quite comprehend it.  
  
"I'll always love you Harry," she said quietly to the still face in the coffin in front of her. "I'll raise your children, the children you were- that you are so proud of. They'll grow up and make you even prouder. Your son is going to look just like you and he can carry on where you left off. Your daughter will be the most beautiful girl you'll ever see, and the sweetest. You might be gone, Harry, but you're not dead. You'll be in the lives of our children, and in my heart. Always." The pain of love threatened to shatter her heart as she looked at the face that would never look upon her again, the mouth she would never kiss again.  
  
And finally the tears came. They hadn't been present since she had first found out about the horrible inevitability, but they were here now and an unseen hand that she knew by heart was wiping them away as they poured down, reminding her that she was not alone; not really, not ever. He would always be with her. 


End file.
